Thoughts on recent happenings

So I have been privileged to be hanging out with a lot of good friends lately. In fact ever since my break-up I have embraced them. I guess it was more loneliness than anything but at the same time I just felt I didn't have friend here. But enough harping on that subject again. I now am growing lots of new friendships here and am really happy about them.

This weekend made me appreciate these friends but still showed me I have a long way to go. Well maybe not so much as a long way to go but for me in a big group it's hard for me to interact much. So glad there was Rockband upstairs Saturday. I like the smaller group interactions though because I typically feel I can add my two cents without feeling like I'm interrupting someone. In bigger groups though I feel... I don't know... lost I suppose. I mean it's weird I don't fully feel comfortable in those situations. I also feel very much like an outsider, although very much less so than before. Blah whine whine whine. Okay like I said though I'm very happy that I have these guys to hang out with.

Also showed me that even though I can still be friends with the guy I like... it's hard to not feel jealous of things. I mean I am handling it well, or so one of my friends said, but it's still hard to see and really need to take those things and remember he's just a friend now. The worst part is I still want to hang out with him and spend time with him as a friend and not think these things :P Stupid emotions. The worst part of all of this though is I was happy to not want someone before all this happened and now that it's over... I feel that I really want someone and just know as soon as I start looking I will be constantly disappointed. The best way to find someone is not to be desperately looking for them.

Okay. So enough whining already. Will post something else later not so whiny :3