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Emotional stuff
Apr. 5th, 2011 08:24 amI finally found out the truth about things and I couldn't be happier... well I mean I feel bad about things but happier for me. As usual with emotions it's just complicated.
Anyway with this news I feel better about the guy I like and am going to try at some point and ask him on a date or something.
It's funny it feels like this is the hardest thing I have ever done though. No relationship up to this point for me has started so rough or has been such an emotional rollercoaster to me. But at the same time I feel like it's a challenge, as if I really need to work hard for it if I want it to succeed. I haven't ever had to work hard for a relationship and can kind-of understand why they just ended in friendships. It felt like they were too easy now that I have been going through this. I mean the emotion was there but it was simple. This feels complex and the more I explore it the more I want to explore no matter how many ups and downs it takes me on.
I have also been reading "Out of Position" by Kyell Gold, which for those non furs is basically a gay furry romance novel, and it keeps hitting a lot of emotional key points specifically about the way I feel for this guy. I mean the first couple of chapters when Dev falls for Lee really hit at how my feelings had/have been for the guy I like. There are also little point in there just hitting me where I feel I need to be hit. Being an emotional person myself and this book being drenched in emotions really made me read through the book quickly and have only a few pages left.
So now... I hope things go well with this, I just hope I also didn't screw things up by being to scared to act when I had the chances before. Truthfully though I just really want to be with him again.
Anyway with this news I feel better about the guy I like and am going to try at some point and ask him on a date or something.
It's funny it feels like this is the hardest thing I have ever done though. No relationship up to this point for me has started so rough or has been such an emotional rollercoaster to me. But at the same time I feel like it's a challenge, as if I really need to work hard for it if I want it to succeed. I haven't ever had to work hard for a relationship and can kind-of understand why they just ended in friendships. It felt like they were too easy now that I have been going through this. I mean the emotion was there but it was simple. This feels complex and the more I explore it the more I want to explore no matter how many ups and downs it takes me on.
I have also been reading "Out of Position" by Kyell Gold, which for those non furs is basically a gay furry romance novel, and it keeps hitting a lot of emotional key points specifically about the way I feel for this guy. I mean the first couple of chapters when Dev falls for Lee really hit at how my feelings had/have been for the guy I like. There are also little point in there just hitting me where I feel I need to be hit. Being an emotional person myself and this book being drenched in emotions really made me read through the book quickly and have only a few pages left.
So now... I hope things go well with this, I just hope I also didn't screw things up by being to scared to act when I had the chances before. Truthfully though I just really want to be with him again.
