Day Eight of the Ten Day Meme Thingy

Day One: Ten things you want to say to ten different people right now
Day Two: Nine things about yourself.
Day Three: Eight ways to win your heart.
Day Four: Seven things that cross your mind a lot.
Day Five: Six things you wish you’d never done.
Day Six: Five people who mean a lot (in no order whatsoever)
Day Seven: Four turn offs.
Day Eight: Three turn ons.
Day Nine: Two smileys that describe your life right now.
Day Ten: One confession

Sad to say this one is probably the hardest for me. There a a good number of things that turn me on and I don't necessarily want to go through the things most people could easily guess about me. But since I can't think of much right now I should at least go for the very basics.

1. Clothing. Not all clothing mind you but unusual, not ordinary clothing. Let's put this in perspective. I do not have a shoe fetish and don't really understand it that way but I do appreciate a good looking pair of shoes. What I am more talking about is seeing a guy in uniform, or in spandex, or... well pretty much anything that they normally wouldn't wear most of the time is hot. Women's clothing... not so much.

2. Snuggling/Kissing. This are two of the things that will turn me on the quickest. At the same end though if you don't kiss well (usually not fond of fish face kissing or hate to say licks instead of kissing) then I am usually turned off by it.

3. Be Aggressive. Okay I don't mean by being mean or anything I just mean when it comes to fun encounters know what you want and go for it without being too forceful. You don't have to be fast about it because of course sometimes the best part is being slow and figuring these things out. But for me I'm a bit submissive but if you basically point me where you want me to go... I'm there :3

Maybe I should go into this a bit more I really think when I say submissive I mean I'm shy about starting much with people, not that I don't truly enough them but it's hard for me to be the initiator most of the time. If I see clues to the contrary though, see you wanting something more, then I will pursue that.

More random thoughts

I feel... weird this year about the holidays. I mean breaking up with Jason and then not sure what I wanted to do for them in general felt weird in the first place.

This year I decided to go and stay with Kit since I was originally going to go with Jason to visit his family. I like his family and all but think it'd just be too strange to go visit there for the holidays. In general it feels weird enough at home. To me it feels like he's isolated himself and had me as his only out and since I am going out with friends and such I think he feels a bit left out in general... well that and our mutual friend who has been extremely busy as of late hasn't been up for much. I really wish he'd find some local friends to hang out with again as he seems to be in much the same situation I was in Cincinnati.

The posting I put up earlier about the Horoscope cusp thingy has kind-of hit a cord with me. Basically it describes me rather well, which is a bit unnerving. One of the other few places I checked after seeing that one was "Reluctant to confront fears and insecurities"... this is a huge matter in my life one that I struggle with all the time. I never thought these things were ever really true persay... I mean I do think that there are some things that do affect people but doubt the stars are really one of them. But it's nice to see something like this that fits for once.

Oh I started a new blog for Cyan Gear and will eventually port www.cyangear.com there is it doesn't really seem to work well for LJ :P Probably work on that tonight. I think I'm going to try and get some people to help me write in it too. Basically the blog is going to be about sub-culture fashion and things we like. anyway the link for that is: cyangear.blogspot.com

Anyway that's one fear/insecurity down...

I wish I could just barrel through these things, but feel like now that I found something to blame for it I can work through it a bit better. "Oh it's not me it's my star sign, so maybe I should put more effort into it." Yeah that doesn't sound stupid now does it :P

I talked last night to one of my friends and I really think I got a lot off my chest that I've been needing too but still need to work through it. I feel like if I have no outlet for all this... crap then it just bottles up and I get lethargic (and well post tons and tons of whine journals because of it... or boredom).

I need to get back on track to changing my life though and I know that staying here in the situations where I'm not being challenged or where I'm not in a mode of change of some sort is making me not want to do much of anything. I've been skipping the gym, eating too much crap, ignoring the house, I haven't been watching much TV because of no more cable but even then I still haven't been trying to sew. I have been having fun with MNBChicago though. It's been a much needed socialization for me in a period where I felt I had nothing to do, no one to go to.

Okay enough today.

I am glad I still have this thing. I feel like I have used it much more now than I ever have to fully express my thoughts. Before it always seemed to be little clippets and childish (which I miss some of that childishness) but now I feel I have gotten older in the aspects that really matter, and still have my childish charm :3

Sooo yeah stuff ;3