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I don't know what it is but I feel rather weird after this MFF. I didn't spend the night there last night as I would have usually done so missed the last of the parties and when I got home found out that two of my friends were having troubles themselves. So I feel rather depressed about all of those. Don't worry I'm not going to make this a whiny PCD post. I mean con wise I thoroughly enjoyed myself and as always have new friends from it, and of course hung out with some good friends that I don't get to see that often either.
Every time I go to a con before hand I'm like "I want to hang out with you more often" and typically don't get to. This time I did get to hang out with one of the groups that I usually don't and remembered why I typically don't hang out with them. It's not really them... well only but it's me too. I basically feel out of place around them and then they all know each other so their off in their own groups chatting. I mean I know and like most of them but I guess when they're all together they know each other and chat with each other. Basically I need smaller groups to be able to get to know them and vice versa. (Okay this also isn't a rant about favoritism or anything either because I know I sometimes do the same with my group of friends.) So of course when all is said and done I went and hung out with the people I really know and felt comfortable with.
I'm just feeling conflicted now though because while I was off having fun two friends of mine had their own problems and I would have liked to have been there for them, well as much as I could. I never really know what to say sometimes to make my friends feel better but I always would like to try.
Blah!
So yeah I also rather missed my BF the whole con as well. I can understand that he doesn't like furry mainly because there's too many people out there and he's worse than I when it comes to big groups. I feel like sometimes I am holding myself back because of my BF. I mean I like doing things with him so if he doesn't want to go I typically don't because of it. At the same time we often don't do much together when we are at home either (ie he's on SL and I'm in the living room watching TV and surfing the web). I really want to get out of that trend mainly so I can start sewing or something. AT the same time I would still like to do more with him (ie get him off of SL... not that I don't think he should stop using SL altogether just slightly less).
So back to friends. One friend had work related problems which I wish I could help him out with in some way but not sure what to say to him about it. He's having a meeting today with the bosses and I hope they don't fire him, although at the same time the company he's working for seemed to go to pot too... This is what I hate about it. It's a specialized field and it took him a while to get it when he did. When he had it he loved the job and they really liked him as well and everything seemed cool. Now the bosses are basically cheating him out of money and making him work way too many hours and I can completely understand why he acted and felt the way he did. You can't treat employees like they are disposable because they won't care about anything in end and it will be the company that suffers. I have learned that after many years in retail. Not only that but you will make someone who had a passion for something loose all passion for pretty much anything. I would almost rather my friend just quit the job if he is feeling like he is being pushed around like that and find a new one, or see if another company is hiring before he quits. Whatever happens I just hope that things work out well for him. I really don't like seeing any of my friends suffer.
My other friend seemed to have lost his will to draw and well do pretty much any art. I can completely relate to that though. The sad thing is he's been the one instrumental in making me want to get off my ass and do things myself. I want to say so much to him but know whatever I will say will be marred by my inability to accomplish anything for myself. But at the same end I think I just realized why I haven't done anything really. I guess I wasn't being selfish enough. Basically if I am to accomplish anything I am going to have to make something I want, I will have to want to do it too. I keep thinking to far ahead and not of what I want out of it I guess. So what I am basically saying is if you're doing this just for others and not yourself you're going to loose your passion for it. Do it for yourself. A lot of peoples best art out there is not because they do it for money or for anyone but they wanted to do it for themselves. If you lost that then maybe it is time to take a bit of a break from it but I still say never give up on it (like I had).
Huggles to all my friends.
Every time I go to a con before hand I'm like "I want to hang out with you more often" and typically don't get to. This time I did get to hang out with one of the groups that I usually don't and remembered why I typically don't hang out with them. It's not really them... well only but it's me too. I basically feel out of place around them and then they all know each other so their off in their own groups chatting. I mean I know and like most of them but I guess when they're all together they know each other and chat with each other. Basically I need smaller groups to be able to get to know them and vice versa. (Okay this also isn't a rant about favoritism or anything either because I know I sometimes do the same with my group of friends.) So of course when all is said and done I went and hung out with the people I really know and felt comfortable with.
I'm just feeling conflicted now though because while I was off having fun two friends of mine had their own problems and I would have liked to have been there for them, well as much as I could. I never really know what to say sometimes to make my friends feel better but I always would like to try.
Blah!
So yeah I also rather missed my BF the whole con as well. I can understand that he doesn't like furry mainly because there's too many people out there and he's worse than I when it comes to big groups. I feel like sometimes I am holding myself back because of my BF. I mean I like doing things with him so if he doesn't want to go I typically don't because of it. At the same time we often don't do much together when we are at home either (ie he's on SL and I'm in the living room watching TV and surfing the web). I really want to get out of that trend mainly so I can start sewing or something. AT the same time I would still like to do more with him (ie get him off of SL... not that I don't think he should stop using SL altogether just slightly less).
So back to friends. One friend had work related problems which I wish I could help him out with in some way but not sure what to say to him about it. He's having a meeting today with the bosses and I hope they don't fire him, although at the same time the company he's working for seemed to go to pot too... This is what I hate about it. It's a specialized field and it took him a while to get it when he did. When he had it he loved the job and they really liked him as well and everything seemed cool. Now the bosses are basically cheating him out of money and making him work way too many hours and I can completely understand why he acted and felt the way he did. You can't treat employees like they are disposable because they won't care about anything in end and it will be the company that suffers. I have learned that after many years in retail. Not only that but you will make someone who had a passion for something loose all passion for pretty much anything. I would almost rather my friend just quit the job if he is feeling like he is being pushed around like that and find a new one, or see if another company is hiring before he quits. Whatever happens I just hope that things work out well for him. I really don't like seeing any of my friends suffer.
My other friend seemed to have lost his will to draw and well do pretty much any art. I can completely relate to that though. The sad thing is he's been the one instrumental in making me want to get off my ass and do things myself. I want to say so much to him but know whatever I will say will be marred by my inability to accomplish anything for myself. But at the same end I think I just realized why I haven't done anything really. I guess I wasn't being selfish enough. Basically if I am to accomplish anything I am going to have to make something I want, I will have to want to do it too. I keep thinking to far ahead and not of what I want out of it I guess. So what I am basically saying is if you're doing this just for others and not yourself you're going to loose your passion for it. Do it for yourself. A lot of peoples best art out there is not because they do it for money or for anyone but they wanted to do it for themselves. If you lost that then maybe it is time to take a bit of a break from it but I still say never give up on it (like I had).
Huggles to all my friends.
