Friends

You know it's hard being a friend over the internet/in person sometimes. There are many times I feel like I am taking advantage of friends because of their situations like friends with cars or artist friends when at the same time I try to help whenever I can and when I can't feel like I am being a bad friend. I know from experience that sometimes even if you try to explain something to someone it's better for them to work things out on their own, but at the same time you still want to help steer them in the right direction. Typically what happens though, which you typically should have known anyway is any advice falls on deaf ears until they figure it out for themselves.

Lets just put it this way. When I was younger I had (and still have) a really good friend. He always seemed to have something wrong and I neverminded helping him out in anyway that I could, monetarily or even just hanging out. I mean that's what friends do. I never felt as if I was owed something back from helping him out because he was my friend and we did tons of stuff together. But now I have friends who I wish I could help out but really can't because I have my own bills and such that I don't have the money that I used to. I feel really bad when I can't help people like this though.

On the same token I also feel bad if someone does something nice for me just because we're friends that I should do something in kind. Like an Artist friend of mine mentioned that he was doing art for me (which I am completely flattered since only two really good friends have ever really done art for me for free) and no I feel as if I am obliged to purchase art from him because he is doing it. I mean I do want to support my friends, but at the same time if it's a gift should I feel that I have to pay them back in some way because of it. I guess I never quite got the handle on gift giving. I mean I love giving gifts, even if I get something in return or not, especially when I know it's something the person would really love. But should I feel bad for not getting something for someone else just because I receive a gift from them without a reason but we're friends. *sigh*

On the other topic, I have tried to help many friends before with problems so much to the point of I don't even know what to say anymore. I try to help as much as I can with words of wisdom but sometimes like I said before you need to learn from your own mistakes and choose your own path. But I really hate it when they get all down on themselves and think that doing nothing is going to change the fact that they are depressed. The best way to fight off depression I have learned is, yes to sulk on it for a while, but after that pick yourself up, dust yourself off and move on to something else. I love my friends for helping me do that. I think if it weren't for a few friends when I was a teen I think I'd still be a depressed/repressed kid in Cincinnati bored and alone. Sometimes even if you don't want to you have to listen to your friends because they do have words of wisdom, and at least they can and will tell you things could be worse and get you out and alleviate the depression you may feel.

So this is to all my friends out there, the ones I talk to all the time, some times, or hardly at all, I am glad that you are all a part of my life even if it's just text on a computer screen. You have all helped me become the person I am good bad and inbetween and I wouldn't want me any other way. *hugs to all who want it*