Blah

Okay so the Temp work isn't working out as I would hope. At least I am getting some jobs and making myself completely available for them though. The sad thing is I should almost look for another job that I can do part time at night just so I won't have to depend on Jason for total support. I mean don't get me wrong I really love Jason for helping support me during this but I really hate the fact that I have to wait around for a job to be handed to me. Even when calling everyday (which I am going to do right after this) it's still very hard to find anything. I mean I want to contribute to the whole but it seems now I am not contributing at all and it makes me feel rather worthless and typically semi depressed. Lets put it this way even thinking about my obsession right now is not even clearing the blahness I feel. Basically what it comes down to is that I feel like I am taking advantage of Jason even though I know he was the one to suggest this. I don't like taking advantage of anyone especially when I am not contributing anything. At least before I was paying my own bills but even that was slowly becoming to much for me so in that aspect I am glad he is willing to help and I would much rather have this opportunity rather than be stuck in retail but still I can feel bad about it as well.

So yeah hopefully something big will come through that will get more experience and permanent, and in truth I know something will, but I just don't know how long I can sit here and wait for it.