cyan_icewolf ([personal profile] cyan_icewolf) wrote2012-10-10 04:49 am

Hello old friend

I have been neglecting my LJ for quite some time but I think that is going to change. The main reason for this is because I have had a change of direction in my ideals... or well maybe I found my path again.

Remember waaaaaaaaaay back when this thing started. Back then I wanted to be a writer. That dream never died it just got buried under stupid thing, things that I thought were important. But in truth they weren't important to me. I've realized that any job is a "real" job as long as you enjoy it and if you don't then you need to look for something else. That you have to put some effort into your dreams in order to make them come true and can't just wish they will happen for you.

Yes this has all come because of me being fired. It's like...

You know how you fear failure. Well if you don't I had a huge fear for failure. For me it was easier to not try to do anything than to fail. That was until I failed. Being fired was a huge failure to me and it made me realize I didn't want to be there and didn't want to be doing that and brought me almost back to where I was when I graduated college. Well now I have professional skills and more of an idea what I want to do with my life. I still want to be a writer (so in order to be a writer I should probably be writing more, hence the updating my LJ) but I am more focused with it.

So what I am proposing is I am going to be a writer for fun and for video games. I will probably have to go back to school and also probably going to have to get a job that I don't actually mind doing while pursuing this course of action, which means more than likely retail. This does not mean though I will settle for a retail position, it just means I will continue looking for I want and hone my skills in order to get it.

I have never felt so focused about my dreams than right now and I fell if I don't pursue it this time then I will never follow them.

So expect more of these things from me :3

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