Aug. 1st, 2012

I haven't written here in a while again. Seems like I really don't know what I want to do anymore.

I'm rather tired of my current job as it just seems like it's an extension of retail just more specialized and finding out that I am getting paid about half as much as I really should be for this position is a little disheartening, that and someone being hired to be over me but seems to know a lot less than even I do doesn't help.

On the good part I have updated my resume a bit and had a friend in DC enter in into his companies website for consideration and for a position that was available. Shortly after got a call for a job interview. Unfortunately by the time the interview came up the position had been filled but still think I did okay for it. I will be, of course, applying to many different places though in order to see if I can get another position somewhere either in the DC are or Chicago.

Also something I kinda didn't expect is I've kinda fallen for someone who has admitted that if I weren't planning on moving that he would be happy to date me. This of course makes me rethink the whole moving thing. I have been interested in him for a long time myself but it seemed to just either never register or something. Now it just makes me not sure if I want to move to DC or just stay in the general area here to be closer/just be with him. He's said to not worry about him and go to DC... which funny enough makes me want to stay and be with him even more. :P

The other thing I really want to improve myself again so I can actually get a job that I feel I would enjoy doing. At this point I don't really care about money as I'm not really making that much anyway, so anything above what I am making now would be great. What I am really looking for though is to not feel like I am burnt out on a daily basis or would rather be elsewhere than here.

I'm tired of feeling like my life is a waste.

In truth I think this feeling has resonated throughout a lot of life right now. It has gotten me, among other concerns, to make me start loosing weight. I have gone from 255 at the beginning of the year down to 232 as of last Friday and continues it slow decline. This for me is huge. I've accomplished something that to me a major change and now want to implement things like this to the rest of my life. The problem is I'm not sure what to do next besides the obvious something.

Anyway needed a good vent as usual. If anyone has questions, comments, smart remarks, feel free to leave a reply.

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cyan_icewolf

August 2014

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