I'm trying not to make this a whining post but I just don't understand this.

I don't understand why I have this constant need to defeat myself before I even start something. I mean I come up with, what I think are, great ideas that I never take action on.

I know the basic reasons of why this is the case: I have low self-esteem, I feel I will fail at it so don't try... But in truth I don't know why I have these feelings in the first place.

I try to be a mostly logical person. I mean yes I, and well everyone really, do get ruled by emotions sometimes and that's okay, but I am letting fear beat me, and I really don't know why I'm afraid.

Maybe because I have been told multiple times that it's way too difficult to do, which in truth shouldn't be a reason to stop but a reason to work harder.

I feel there has to be something that is blocking me from tapping into this because I have the want to do it but the drive doesn't seem to be there.

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cyan_icewolf

August 2014

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